This Floating Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Year.
As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
MobLand
Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.
